have you ever gone to sleep, have a dream, but then wake up & reality is the nightmare ? i think that can be the worse feeling. i woke up feeling like that-- shit. it sucks. life's a bitch sometimes, really. i'm a bitch sometimes, really. it's incredible how one person, JUST ONE can have such an impact on your whole life; your whole fucking daily routine. it's actually kind of sick in my opinion. love itself, is sick. it can be soo beautiful, but so fuckng ugg too. bittersweet would be a good word for it. you try so hard to make one happy & if you don't, you beat yourself up for it.. well, i do anyways. i hate not making a loved one happy. sometimes i wish i was like (500 days of summer)'s zoey deschanel; an emotion-less robot. i probly wouldn't get canker sores in my mouth (which is hereditary frm my mama, due to stress) as much and be such a nagging bitch. you know, nothing makes sense to me. i'm like a lost cause in this topic. i don't understand how if you love someone & they "love" you, they tell you they need space. for what? if you're 5+ cities away, how much more space do you need? maybe i'm just over analyzing the whole topic of "love". i'm too young for it anyways right? guh, i could go on & on about this over rated state. no point in it though. i think i'm just an emotional rollercoaster with too many flips and hills to fucking function. i definitely wear my heart on a short sleeve for heart throb & i'm dealing with the consequences. but hey, #thatslife.
til later, --sayonaraaa
