Love; [as a noun] (luhv) -- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
happy late valentine's dayyy. haven't blogged in a few days, uhhh. friday after work i got up with antonio and went to AmericanBoysClub for the first time as a 21 yr old :) ended up purchasing Absolut Mandarin cause i thought maybe HT woulda made a suprise appearance. :( no. he didn't. i won't get into detail but the more i kept drinking, the more i kept imagining him walking through derrick's door and making a rukus. lol but nope, i got soo wasted it wasn't even funny. i was texting HT and saying the nastiest, meanest things to him that was not necessarry. i made him feel like a lowlife piece of doo. =\ never again will i say somethin to him or anyone. i was so selfish and ignorant, when i read those messages in the morning i wantd to die. i felt so bad. he says that "drunken words are SOBER thoughts." i beg to differ honestly. i said "i hate you" to him, i am nowhere NEAR hating him. i love him. yup, i do. alcohol is a depressant, it makes me sad and angry if i'm not partying. so for me its "drunken words are ANGRY\SELFISH thoughts." i don't have a hating bone in my body for Him, never. but anyways, the moment me and tone stepped foot outside derrick's building, tone askd "are you ok em" --my God. lol i broke down, in tears. coulda flooded all of Buchannan. lol cried the whole way home, well to heathers. had to make a quick stop so i could hurl out the car in some parking lot maybe off of dale blvd. #frailbody was me that night (basically like every other night though)-- i didn't eat AT ALL friday and then saturday came. i had to wake up at crack of fucking dawn to get back out to arlington for a damn driving improvement class. still with nothing in my stomach i got to the class and passed that damn test with a 94% BAM! aha, wasn't hard at all, Mrs. Pola just sat me in a room alone so i can listen to the english version of the movie since i was the only english speaking person in the class, it was more convenient. anyways, only 2 people know about me and what i'm about and after saturday, my feelings and (what felt like) my life changed. like i said, i'm a go-getter. when i want something fixed or feel it's worth the time and $ and whatever it is that it might take, i go get it. i guess we can just say Valentine's Day wasn't such a drag after all. saturday i came home to a package on my porch from ProFlowers. yesss, HT handled his bizz and got me flowers. not just a bouquet of the over-rated, UNoriginal, dozen of long stemmed roses. he got me Lillies. my favorite flower. such a sweet, perfect gesture for a sweet, perfect guy-- & on the card it said "Be My Valentine Boo! I Love You, -Joaq" so there was my answer to the letter i sent him at the beginning of the week. it was perfect. the lillies weren't even opened up yet! now they are and my mom arranged em soo beautiful in a phatman crystal vase my dad got from overseas. sunday came and i didn't do anything, but i didn't even care. i fixed shit with HT and everything was good to go. i told him the next time he comes down we'll do something special, since my broke, selfish ass didn't get him nothing for Valentine's Day >:o lol i slacked. i owe him big time. he deserves it. on monday i didn't go to school or work, so i 3rd wheeled to see Valentine's Day with my brother and Claudy. lol it was alright, i thought it was gona be funnier. but it was a good flick. EVERYONE and their fucking mother was in that damn movie. my God, all the good looking men. jesus* aha anyways, it was fun just being with them two. i sat next to my brother so you know we were acting a damn fool. claudy made me a grilled chicken salad few hours before and it made my breath stink soo fucking bad lol, so i burped and said "it smells like i just ate red lobster yo wtf!" and the face zack made was PUUURICELESSSS. lol and on top of that, at the movie i got a hot dog (with the reg. mustard and rellish=DANK!) lmao too funny. the dog smelt so harsh, lol i felt akward eating it because i didn't crush it before the movie started. but auwell, lol ANYWAYS. zack didn't fall asleep in the movie for once so it was straight. i ended up spending $9.50 on a damn ICEE and hotdog. fucking ripoff. i knew i shoulda stopped by BK and took a #4 in my Big Buddha bag like usual. i think that's why i hate going to the movies. big waste of money. what happen to the like, what? $7.00 movie tickets? at the old theater at potomac (where alll the boys use to be at friday nights MMM) man, they didn't seem that expensive. after the movie, they dropped me off and went to BoneFish for some bang bang shrimp and whateva lol i ended up goin to this new meixcan spot (Los Toltecos) ? with mamaTurr and bby Ava. she was such a good girl (ava lol) at the restaurant. we were proud, usually she's a beast. we don't call her that for nothin. lol lil snook. lol i love her. we talked, did a little venting about shit that's been going on. it was a good weekend. my mom was gone the whole time cause she went to NC to visit her parents. my aunts and uncles went too. my mom said it took them "10 fucking hours" to get to jacksonville. lmao the weather was soo bad. they got a good amount of snow down there. she was blown. lol but she said it was soo much fun. all in all everybody's weekend seemed fine to me. i'm a happy camper if me and my boo are okay. so it's whatev. but til lataaaa, i gota lunch date with mamaTurr at Olive Garden at 1.30 #sycemode :D
